For as long as I can remember I have always tried to be a good person. As I grew up I was made to go to church but at some point that went away. I remained a believer right up until the death of my mother. I can honestly say my belief was wavering heavily towards disbelief as my career progressed and I seen so many decent folks die a horrible death. My mother was one of those good people who died a horrible death and she left this earth with more people owing her than she owed them.
After her death I gave up. My faith was no more. With that being said I continued being a decent human being just without any belief or faith in god or jesus or whoever I was supposed to believe in. For the most part I kept this disbelief to myself. Many whom I work with claim to be believers in the faith as well as practitioners however they live what most religious people would call a "sinner's" lifestyle according to religious teachings. Hypocrites I say.
As I continue to trek along in life I continue to keep my beliefs to myself. One day at shift meeting (like many before) someone takes the notion to say a prayer. Let me tell you by now I am a complete non-believer however I am always respectful of other's beliefs and would never condemn or shame anyone because of said beliefs. I am always silent during prayers however I just kinda of lower my head.....again out of respect for their beliefs. After the prayer a co-worker calls me out and tries to shame me for not "completely" lowering my head and begins to question me. After I have had enough I politely tell him when I figure who the group is praying to only then will I bow my head. You would have thought I had just shot the pope....lol. Many to this day stray far away from me because of my beliefs. I had never once made anyone feel bad or ashamed because of their belief in religion but why would supposed christian's, who believe in a kind, gentle, loving, forgiving god condemn me? From what I have learned in my early days of church aren't chiristians supposed to pray for my soul and forgive me?
One more story and I am done. Our Lt. on the shift knows of my beliefs and would always throw out jabs. I don't really care because I am not one to get pissed off because of stuff like that. One day after shift meeting I am told that there is a chaplain that wants to ride along. I object but it really goes no where and I load up with the chaplain. First thing he asks is can we start the ride along with a prayer. First thing out of my mouth is "Father....I don't believe in god, jesus, or anything like that. If you want to pray I will pull over and be silent out of respect but I assure you your prayer will fall on deaf ears". He says ok, skips the prayer, rides along for about 30 mins, and then asks if I can bring him back to the station. After the shift that day Lt. asks what happened. I told him and he was pissed. When it comes to things like that I always try and respect others feelings and beliefs but when you don't respect mine I become a fucking savage....lol.
In closing I don't really care who believes in god, jesus, or any other higher power. I will never try and convince anyone there is no higher power. Having beliefs like that hurts no one so why should I trample on one's beliefs? Oh right....I don't because that would make me a fucking hypocrite. Carry on.