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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My girlfriends son (9year old, and I've been with then since he was 4) is probably going to fail the third grade. He has a second chance right now with a report that he has been working on. I was checking over his rough draft last night and it's terrible...I have been trying to help him with his school work, but he puts the minumun effort forward. This report which is due friday needs lots of work and I am certain it won't pass unless I intervene.
My girlfriend says to let him fail now and maybe he will wake up, and while I'm typing this I tend to agree now but, I would still like to hear some oppinions......I can't ever recall having my father help me in this way, but at the same time I would like him to pass.
 

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I'd say let him fail now that hes young. Coming from someone that got held back by my dad in 2nd grade. Now i am working on my Masters in Engineering.
 

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let him fail and hopefully will learn from this... I know i straightened my shit out after a not so stellar performance my freshman year of college
 

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If the kid fails it's the parents fault... How well your kid does in school is a direct reflection on much time you put in helping. If it was my kid I would make the time and work with them to make sure the homework was done right. Not all kids are going to be A students but all kids should have there homework done and turned in. Parents need to be involved in there kids studies plain and simple... I understand how much work is involved in getting a kid to do homework the right way..But hard work pays off!!!

Help the kid out !!!
 

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^^ agree with the above. spot on. kids don't know any better- it one of the responsibilities of being a parent. Allowing them to fail without your intervention is not the answer or solution to schooling in the future.
 

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If the kid fails it's the parents fault... How well your kid does in school is a direct reflection on much time you put in helping. If it was my kid I would make the time and work with them to make sure the homework was done right. Not all kids are going to be A students but all kids should have there homework done and turned in. Parents need to be involved in there kids studies plain and simple... I understand how much work is involved in getting a kid to do homework the right way..But hard work pays off!!!

Help the kid out !!!
I agree 100% I let my son fail once and it backfired and bit me in the ass.
 

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If the kid fails it's the parents fault... How well your kid does in school is a direct reflection on much time you put in helping. If it was my kid I would make the time and work with them to make sure the homework was done right. Not all kids are going to be A students but all kids should have there homework done and turned in. Parents need to be involved in there kids studies plain and simple... I understand how much work is involved in getting a kid to do homework the right way..But hard work pays off!!!

Help the kid out !!!
right and wrong! parents cant make kids learn or make them try. all my children are in the gifted program and we help them very little. they have to want it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
If the kid fails it's the parents fault... How well your kid does in school is a direct reflection on much time you put in helping. If it was my kid I would make the time and work with them to make sure the homework was done right. Not all kids are going to be A students but all kids should have there homework done and turned in. Parents need to be involved in there kids studies plain and simple... I understand how much work is involved in getting a kid to do homework the right way..But hard work pays off!!!

Help the kid out !!!
It does make me feel like a failure.....and this was my thinking last night. His mother works with him every night, to a fault sometimes in my oppinion. Maybe our techniques are wrong, but the effort on her behalf is there. Obviously something is missing.
Thanks
 

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if you do help him pass, my suggestion would be some tutoring/enrichment/boot camp/something over the summer to try to get him more motivated to succeed. If you help him now, but there are no consequences, I would say his chances get even worse in the next grade.

I wish I could help yo on the choice...it's a tough call. I would look into whether you both feel he could "catch up" to the others over the summer or if he truly needs to repeat the grade.

In other words, did he learn this year and doesn't apply himself for homework/tests (he should go on and pass) or does he really not know the material (he should stay)? Keep in mind the psychological effects of "failing" at the young age as well.

It's a tough call.
 

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Take it from me, GET HIM HELP DON'T QUIT ON HIM !! . Coming from someone that got held back by my dad in 2nd grade. Now i am working on my Masters in Engineering. That's great but does not work from every one .
 

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It does make me feel like a failure.....and this was my thinking last night. His mother works with him every night, to a fault sometimes in my oppinion. Maybe our techniques are wrong, but the effort on her behalf is there. Obviously something is missing.
Thanks
Perhaps you answered your dilemma in your own post. . . . . . .
 

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I agree with Steve, you need to stay on kids non stop. He's only 9, he won't learn shit by letting him fail, that attitude is part of the reason he is where he is. You need to make him want to do better by staying with it every day, not just when they're in trouble.
I have three kids, my oldest got a free ride through college on an academic scholarship, my oldest son has maintained the highest grade in his Electrical apprenticeship class for two years and my youngest son is a junior in high that is averaging C's and B's with a scattering of A's. We've worked with all our kids from the first days of preschool.

Work with him and good luck.
Paul
 

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If the kid fails it's the parents fault... How well your kid does in school is a direct reflection on much time you put in helping. If it was my kid I would make the time and work with them to make sure the homework was done right. Not all kids are going to be A students but all kids should have there homework done and turned in. Parents need to be involved in there kids studies plain and simple... I understand how much work is involved in getting a kid to do homework the right way..But hard work pays off!!!

Help the kid out !!!

help him out, if you are unable to teach him so he understands it, hire someone that can. Not everybody can teach!
 

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let him fail and hopefully will learn from this... I know i straightened my shit out after a not so stellar performance my freshman year of college
Being 18 in cilloege and 9 in 3rd grade can not even come close to comparing. I'd help him the best I could if he was my son. If I was you I try making it fun for him somehow to spark some interest and motivation. Just my opinion.
 

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It does make me feel like a failure.....and this was my thinking last night. His mother works with him every night, to a fault sometimes in my oppinion. Maybe our techniques are wrong, but the effort on her behalf is there. Obviously something is missing.
Thanks
There are programs at school with kids with learning disabilitys if you think it might be the case. Talk with the school and voice your concerns about what you feel is wrong.

Dont get down on yourself.. All kids are differnt, some require a little more attention and some require alot more attention.. I have 7 kids all together, some are way ahead of the curve without any help and some were behind the curve with alot of help.. It can be frustrating but failure is not a option..
 

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If the kid fails it's the parents fault... How well your kid does in school is a direct reflection on much time you put in helping. If it was my kid I would make the time and work with them to make sure the homework was done right. Not all kids are going to be A students but all kids should have there homework done and turned in. Parents need to be involved in there kids studies plain and simple... I understand how much work is involved in getting a kid to do homework the right way..But hard work pays off!!!

Help the kid out !!!
Depends on what kind of help you give. I agree in part. Help the kid, but do NOT do it for him.

First order is for him to understand the importance of doing his best.
Second is the consequenses of NOT doing your best.
Third, is be sure he understands the assignment.

After that, he has to know HIS CHOICE is HIS, and HIS responsibility. HE has to deal with the consequences.
 
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