Joined
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690 Posts
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did....she's 21 and her name's Lucy. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!"and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker. Well... she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway
