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Discussion Starter #1
Common Family Dynamics

Close Loving Family

Functioning Family

Barely Functioning Family

Dysfunctional Family

Toxic Family

Then There's My Family



Just discovered that my mother has been playing all of us siblings against each other for our entire lives. I just hugged my 67 year old sister for the first time in my life.

Story to follow.

PS: Not looking for sympathy after I tell you this story, just trying to open your eyes on possibilities. I never dreamed it was possible for me, so it may just be possible for you too.
 

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I had an ex wife who's mom did that. She was nuts! The siblings dynamics was complicated and somewhat toxic as well.
 

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Looking forward to hearing your story. That is great that you were able to do that. My girl hasn't talked to her parents in a year now, to me that's crazy as I've always been close with mine. She said she has always been the one to give in to them and isn't doing it this time.
 

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Wife and I got pushed out by my brother and sisters. Wife is always trying to figure out why. I told her don't bother they don't want us in their little clique. I'm good with that.
 

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This is a big part on why I got divorced 10 years ago......my ex wifes family played head games with us, and tried to convince me that my family was no good!!! Some people simply like to fuck with people, their minds, head games ect.......it's a sickness

During our divorce my ex father in law would say things like "I'm here to support both of you" only to find out he was fabricating stories for the lawyer, and spreading nasty rumors......
 

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I haven't spoken to my mother or my sister for the last 3 years. Both deep into their addiction's and game playing bs. Don't really care to ever again to be honest.
 

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I'd been trying to maintain a relationship with what I thought to be my only real family member left, my mother. Two years ago I realized I needed to back away for self preservation. I hadn't spoken to my mother for two years until last week. She had a heart attack and her second stroke.

I went to visit her in the hospital. By the second day she had made quite a recovery. The third day she was released and one of my sisters (she said she couldn't take her home because her husband was sick---a lie) picked her up at the hospital and dropped her off at another sisters house. She told my other sister Mom could get around on a walker---not true. She dumped her and quickly left leaving my sister in dire straits.

After a couple of days, my sister said she couldn't handle it anymore and the B-tch has to go. Three of my sisters conspired to have a self paid ambulance pick her up and drive her all the way to Florida to a hospital near me. They then asked me if I would meet her at the hospital to make sure she was admitted smoothly. They said it had already been approved by her doctor---a lie. The hospital had no such order and said her doctor had no privileges to admit there.

After they checked her out, she was only severly dehydrated, they said I had to take her. They gave me four choices: 1. Load her back up in the ambulance (already left) and take her back where she came from. My sister said that b-tch will never come back to her house. 2. Load her up and take her home with me. 3. Take her across the street to rehab and pay $2100 a day out of my pocket. 4. Leave her there after they push her out on the sidewalk and then have the police arrest me for abandonment.

Quite the pickle I was in. All my sisters had turned their phones off. I went to doing what I do best. Finding the right buttons and pushing them. I convinced the doc to leave her there while I took care of business. I went across to the rehab center and got the administrator, director of admissions, head of nursing, and head of rehab all together in one room. I went to telling my story and putting my charm on. Thankfully, they were all lovely ladies.

By the grace of God, we found a loophole. She needed a three night stay to qualify for rehab and they were able to retroactively qualify her by her previous visit. They also back channeled her records request and sped up a process that normally takes several days. They even arranged to have her transported over from the hospital. I have a twenty day reprieve until the next chapter of this horror story.

Meanwhile, my oldest sister, who has power of attorney, has taken my mother's cat to the pound, gave away her dog. cleaned out her safe, transferring funds from her money market accounts, gave away her furniture, gave away her car and is meeting with a realtor to sell her house for any cash offer.

The lady at the rehab says my mother will fully recover and be able to go home in three weeks.
 

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Holy Christ. What a mess. Feel sorry for you man.
 

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Go home? To what home? I think you need to reassess you family's rating because that is pretty toxic, dysfunctional and barely functioning....My family has had issues but good god man I feel for you.

Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter #12 (Edited)
It turns out we don't hate each other at all. My mother played us against each other our entire lives to keep us from comparing notes on all the abuse we suffered as kids. It turns out she always knew of the abuse and looked the other way.

Even though my father had a 170 IQ and my mother has a 150 IQ, my father was and is still the most abusive human being I've ever known and ever even heard of. There was no area of abuse he left untouched. His gift to me is a lifetime of trying to heal and of being a perfect example of who I did not want to become.

I recently sat down in front of two of my sisters and point blank asked them why they've always hated me so much. They said they don't and mother always told them I hated them. We got to comparing a lifetime of notes and concluded we were never the problem.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Go home? To what home? I think you need to reassess you family's rating because that is pretty toxic, dysfunctional and barely functioning....My family has had issues but good god man I feel for you.

Good luck.
No, I rated my family Highly Toxic from the beginning.
 

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It turns out we don't hate each other at all. My mother played us against each other our entire lives to keep us from comparing notes on all the abuse we suffered as kids. It turns out she always knew of the abuse and looked the other way.

Even though my father had a 170 IQ and my mother has a 150 IQ, my father was and is still the most abusive human being I've ever known and ever even heard of. There was no area of abuse he left untouched. His gift to me is a lifetime of trying to heal and of being a perfect example of who I did not want to become.

I recently sat down in front of two of my sisters and point blank asked them why they've always hated me so much. They said they don't and mother always told them I hated them. We got to comparing a lifetime of notes and concluded we were never the problem.
Thanks for your reply....looks like it might be time for you and your sisters to come together and move forward in a positive way. If you're the only brother, it's up to you to lead the way. I wish you the best moving forward.
 

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I'm praying for guidance. I'd like to see her go back to her home, if it's still available, and outlast all of us. My wife and her can't stand each other, so she won't be coming here----unless I get a divorce.

After almost 23 years, I'm just now over the marraige trial period so I'd like to stick it out.
 

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My machine shop is 5 blocks from home so I come home for lunch all the time. Ph rings and meddling inlaw bitch is asking for her daughter. The POS ask why Im home, then proceeds to tell me, I'm useless and no good for her daughter etc. I said have a nice day. she hangs up, her wuss husband is on the line listening and he doesn't hang up and says why the hell did you say that? It is no wonder you have health issues. Turns out the cunt had borrowed money from household finance, she got caught when he opened the mail one day before she could hide it. The fucking cunt was trying to say she loaned it to us. I own my own house and machine shop business outright so the old man seen right thru that Bullshit. Apparently, the cunt had done this many times before he actually had an ad placed in the local papers say he would not be responsible for her debts. Another time it was Christmas and the cunt is acting up and running everyone down and says in front of my Daughter that she will learn where her bun is butter. I said pack your stuff right now! We are leaving. I refused to go to her house ever again. That bitch would ph the kids and run other ones down the ph the next one and do the same. The husband never had a funeral or celebration of life for her. What does that tell you?
 

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I'd been trying to maintain a relationship with what I thought to be my only real family member left, my mother. Two years ago I realized I needed to back away for self preservation. I hadn't spoken to my mother for two years until last week. She had a heart attack and her second stroke.

I went to visit her in the hospital. By the second day she had made quite a recovery. The third day she was released and one of my sisters (she said she couldn't take her home because her husband was sick---a lie) picked her up at the hospital and dropped her off at another sisters house. She told my other sister Mom could get around on a walker---not true. She dumped her and quickly left leaving my sister in dire straits.

After a couple of days, my sister said she couldn't handle it anymore and the B-tch has to go. Three of my sisters conspired to have a self paid ambulance pick her up and drive her all the way to Florida to a hospital near me. They then asked me if I would meet her at the hospital to make sure she was admitted smoothly. They said it had already been approved by her doctor---a lie. The hospital had no such order and said her doctor had no privileges to admit there.

After they checked her out, she was only severly dehydrated, they said I had to take her. They gave me four choices: 1. Load her back up in the ambulance (already left) and take her back where she came from. My sister said that b-tch will never come back to her house. 2. Load her up and take her home with me. 3. Take her across the street to rehab and pay $2100 a day out of my pocket. 4. Leave her there after they push her out on the sidewalk and then have the police arrest me for abandonment.

Quite the pickle I was in. All my sisters had turned their phones off. I went to doing what I do best. Finding the right buttons and pushing them. I convinced the doc to leave her there while I took care of business. I went across to the rehab center and got the administrator, director of admissions, head of nursing, and head of rehab all together in one room. I went to telling my story and putting my charm on. Thankfully, they were all lovely ladies.

By the grace of God, we found a loophole. She needed a three night stay to qualify for rehab and they were able to retroactively qualify her by her previous visit. They also back channeled her records request and sped up a process that normally takes several days. They even arranged to have her transported over from the hospital. I have a twenty day reprieve until the next chapter of this horror story.

Meanwhile, my oldest sister, who has power of attorney, has taken my mother's cat to the pound, gave away her dog. cleaned out her safe, transferring funds from her money market accounts, gave away her furniture, gave away her car and is meeting with a realtor to sell her house for any cash offer.

The lady at the rehab says my mother will fully recover and be able to go home in three weeks.
Having Power of Attorney does not give absolute say.
Your sister can face jail time for what she's already done.
All your mother needs to do is refuse sale, contact her bank and for God's sake, get a lawyer.
Your sister cannot over ride your mother.
The hospital and creditors will have a field day with her.
They get the first bite of the apple in order to pay down her debts.
She needs to revoke your sister's rights.
Then sue!
 

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OP, as a power of attorney, your sister has a fiduciary duty to your mother. If she's taken those actions, I'm going to strongly suggest you hire a lawyer and get a TRO filed immediately.
 

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To the OP. Sounds like your mother let it happen and contributed to the abuse from your father. I'm assuming he is no longer around. Seems like this was an opportunity for your sister to say phuck you to your mother for everything the both of them have put you kids through. It's so hard for me to understand how people can't love and care for their kids and could support their spouse over their kids.
 
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