Yellow Bullet Forums banner

1 - 20 of 67 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, 'DALLAS COWBOYS'! '

And they say blondes are dumb....

-------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed.

The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you........

-----------------------------------------

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

-----------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

-------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

---------------------------------------------

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

----------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy..

---------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe...

-------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,506 Posts
ROTFL I can see now what you meant.... that you are back! Some pretty funny man bashing rt there.... Had to share that with the girlfriend!
 

·
RIP Dave - YB will miss you
Joined
·
25,442 Posts
I don't know if Monty has enough bandwidth to list all the goofy shit women do.My wife has me scratching my head and thinking WTF about 10 times a week.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
876 Posts
Do you guys know why white is the most popular color for wedding gowns?
Because it's the most popular color for modern appliances.

Womens feet are smaller than a mans --so they can stand closer to the stove.

Lynn I'm done now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,276 Posts
Lynn I'm so glad your back. You were truly missed. Now if the others would start back to posting.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,556 Posts
Q: How long does it take for a man to make dinner?
A: As long as it takes for him to get out the belt!

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16,472 Posts
How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowblower? Hand the bitch a shovel!(yeah, I know it's old)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,837 Posts
tell your wife to start rubbing the toilet paper between her tits!! it worked well on her ass , didn`t it ??:p:smt103:smt082:smt082:smt081
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,624 Posts
this thread reminds me of how the saying "general rule of thumb" was started ....back in the day when you wanted to find a branch to beat your wife with ....you should never pick one that is wider than the with of your thumb ........
 

·
I am The Dentist
Joined
·
50,953 Posts
this thread reminds me of how the saying "general rule of thumb" was started ....back in the day when you wanted to find a branch to beat your wife with ....you should never pick one that is wider than the with of your thumb ........
that's a line of feminist bullshit... the "rule" has been researched all the way back to the middle ages, and it doesn't exist.

However, generally speaking, the distance across the pad of a man's thumb is one inch--which was a very handy measurement for carpenters.
(ask a man if you can watch him press his thumb on a ruler, and you'll see what I mean)

-Brad
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
that's a line of feminist bullshit... the "rule" has been researched all the way back to the middle ages, and it doesn't exist.

However, generally speaking, the distance across the pad of a man's thumb is one inch--which was a very handy measurement for carpenters.
(ask a man if you can watch him press his thumb on a ruler, and you'll see what I mean)

-Brad
Year 753 B.C.
During the reign of Romulus in Rome, wife beating is accepted and condoned under The Laws of Chastisement. Under these laws, the husband has absolute rights to physically discipline his wife. Since by law, a husband is held liable for crimes committed by his wife, this law was designed to protect the husband from harm caused by the wife's actions. These laws permit the husband to beat his wife with a rod or switch as long as its circumference is no greater than the girth of the base of the man's right thumb, hence "The Rule of Thumb." The tradition of these laws is perpetuated in English Common Law and throughout most of Europe. 3
http://www.yellowbullet.com/forum/#lemon
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
1871- Alabama is the first state to rescind the legal right of men to beat their wives (Fulgrahm v. State) Massachusetts also declares wife beating illegal.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #17

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
COOPS! :smt072


Just kiddin........................luv ya!
 
1 - 20 of 67 Posts
Top