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Discussion Starter #1
Hey guys I thought I might get a little YellowBullet advice.

My girlfriend/fiance's worthless brother-in-law has asked me for money. 200$ to be exact. While it isn't much I didn't loan it to him on principle. In reality it isn't even a loan, it is a gimme 200$. This POS hasn't kept a job in the last 5-6 years and has now pumped out 4 kids. A 19 year old, 15 yo, 2 yo and 2 months. He got fired (again) and is looking for handouts.

My girlfriend and her father have given the family money out the yang, food, clothes, diapers by the car load and they keep coming back for more. The sister/wife does work but won't get paid for another week or 2 because she is coming back off maternity leave. Dude got fired the week after his kid was born, so instead of the sister/wife going back a little early she of course takes her full 6 weeks. She isn't much better off than him and follows his every command.

Yes I feel for the kids and no they aren't going to starve (the father in law will see to that). The father in law took custody of the 15 yo over the last 4 months and has even paid for child care services in NC for their 2 year old. (Imagine that, having to use child care services while your off work and not doing anything at the house!)

I believe I would have looked at this situation differently had he not been such a douche in the past. Long story short using religion as a cover for football game tickets and selling more than 23,000$ in fraudulent autographed Mountaineer Football memorabilia.

What do you guys think I should have done? I just flat out said I never loan money or do business with people I want to keep as family or friends. Was that too harsh?
 

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If you can afford to give it as a gift, that's fine, but it should be clearly understood that the well is dry.
 

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Hey guys I thought I might get a little YellowBullet advice.

My girlfriend/fiance's worthless brother-in-law has asked me for money.
This was as far as I made it reading your post and I made up my mind, fuck that loser, don't give him money!!

If it was your fiance's worthless brother that would be one thing, but brother in law, too far removed, fuck that!!!
 

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I just flat out said I never loan money or do business with people I want to keep as family or friends, and also worthless douchebags. Was that too harsh?
You forgot to tell him part of it. IMHO. ;)
 

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I believe your statement is wrong. Instead of "loan" you should said "give" because like you said thats all it would be is a handout. You did the right thing.
 

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I don't loan money to family...much less families family. My cousin called and ask for money the other day. Although I could afford it, I didn't think I'd get it back. This being a cousin I've seen 3 times in the past 10 years maybe. 1 at my grandmothers funeral last year...
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Yeah I'm very afraid that it wouldn't be the last time. He sees me as wealthy when in fact I am very far from it. I just don't have any children, my gf and I both work (I work 2 jobs), we keep our bills pretty low, and I tend to spend my spare money on my Nova and guns. This leads him to believe we are well off.
 

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If you have the money, and it doesn't hurt, then I'd loan him the money with the explicit understanding that he WILL PAY YOU BACK by a certain date. I'd also say that you believe in him, and that you trust him to pay you back by such date. I'd add: "Don't make me feel like an asshole, and regret doing this."

maybe if he had some positive influence in his life, he won't be such a POS?

Now for reality....Kiss that money goodbye, and in your head, believe it's gone and you ain't getting it back. If he asks for money again, remind him that you still haven't been paid back yet, and explain how a "loan" works.
 

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Yeah I'm very afraid that it wouldn't be the last time. He sees me as wealthy when in fact I am very far from it. I just don't have any children, my gf and I both work (I work 2 jobs), we keep our bills pretty low, and I tend to spend my spare money on my Nova and guns. This leads him to believe we are well off.
When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I had a cousin who thought the same of me. We grew up together and were best friends. Basically I worked and was single at the time and could do what I wanted. He still is in the same boat 8 years later, and I am better off now. Well, except I have way more bills now than I did then, so less money to blow.
 

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When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I had a cousin who thought the same of me. We grew up together and were best friends. Basically I worked and was single at the time and could do what I wanted. He still is in the same boat 8 years later, and I am better off now. Well, except I have way more bills now than I did then, so less money to blow.
People either know how to use money to help themselves or hurt themselves.
 

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If you have the money, and it doesn't hurt, then I'd loan him the money with the explicit understanding that he WILL PAY YOU BACK by a certain date. I'd also say that you believe in him, and that you trust him to pay you back by such date. I'd add: "Don't make me feel like an asshole, and regret doing this."

maybe if he had some positive influence in his life, he won't be such a POS?

Now for reality....Kiss that money goodbye, and in your head, believe it's gone and you ain't getting it back. If he asks for money again, remind him that you still haven't been paid back yet, and explain how a "loan" works.
as you hand him more...
 

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Discussion Starter #19
He has soaked my girlfriend's father who is retired, for house payments, bills, random amounts of cash, co-signed on every car load they've had in the last 10 years, and has yet to pay one single dime back to him. This would never be a loan and I just can't bring myself to give money away to someone who doesn't appreciate what it takes to earn it. In 10 years I only see this guy maybe 3 times a year 4 tops. Believe me when I say this, I've got buddy's who in a pinch it would burn a hole in my pocket trying to get them money fast enough, because I know they would pay it back and or work it off. This guy lives 4 hours away so him working for me isn't an option.
 

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Not a chance. It's not the money..it's the principle. He can easily work to earn $200 pretty quick. He keeps doing it because it hasn't been painful enough NOT to do it.

JIM
 
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