[badss540]

Sitting on a park bench eating one candy bar after another, after his 6th one a man came up to him and said "son, you know eating all those candy bars one after another will rot your teeth, and give you acne and a stomach ache"
Little Ralphie replied, my Grandpa lived to 107.
The man asked him, did your Grandpa eat candy bars like that?
No he just minded his own business !!

Little Ralphie came home from school and his dad asked him how was school today son?
I got an F on a math question today. Teacher asked me what is 2x3 and I answered 6.
But that's correct said his Dad, I know said Ralphie but then she asked me what's 3x2.
What's the fucking difference said his dad?
That what I said, said Ralphie

 

[liljoe07]

Good one....

 

[440roadrunner]

LMAO. Those are pretty good

 

[Tarpley 2]

Good chuckle,before bed. Thanks for posting.

JT

 

[badss540]

At school the teacher asked for someone to give a riddle, Little Ralphies hand shot up. The teacher looked around the room trying to avoid Little Ralphie but to no avail no one else raised their hand. Ok, Little Ralphie what's your riddle.
Little Ralpihe stands up and asked the class " what's round-got a hole in the middle- and has hair all around it"
The teacher was in shock, RALPHIE!!! You should be ashamed , sit down!
But teacher, I was only gonna say your eye, it's round has a hole in the middle and hair all around it. Boy did the teacher feel bad.
The next week same thing and Ralphies hand shot up, the teacher says Ralphie what's your riddle this week?

What's round- got a hole in the middle- and hair all around it? The teacher smiled, picked Sarah to answer and she says, I KNOW, it's your eye.
Nope says. Ralphie, it was your eye last week, it's your Ass today, the teacher fainted.

 

[fastfatman]

Good stuff... hahaba

 

[Bigtime]

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Ralphy. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little RALPHY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little RALPHY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

 

[Bigtime]

Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

RALPHY says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful."

Little RALPHY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

 

[tower_monkey]

teacher wants the kids to use words in a sentence. her word was fascinate. can anyone use that in a sentence?
Ralphie quickly raises his hand. I can ! she reluctantly calls on him, go ahead Ralphie.

my sister has a blouse with 12 buttons, but her tits are so big, she can only fasten 8.