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That's My Boy!

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about
1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly
squandered the money his parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he
says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern
education are coming up with! Why, they actually
have a program here that will teach Ole Blue
how to talk!

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do
I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says,
"I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3
way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but
you just won't believe this! They've had such good results with
this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach
the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have
to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $1,500, I'll get him in the class. "

His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his
father will find out that the dog can neither talk
nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him
talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This
morning, when I got out of the shower, Ole Blue was
in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading
the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he
turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still
messin' around with that little redhead who lives
on Oak Street?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch
before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy."
 
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