I seen this list of excuses people gave their employer when calling in sick...
- I was sprayed by a skunk.
- I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
- My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
- I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
- I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
- I couldn't find my shoes.
- I hurt myself bowling.
- I was spit on by a venomous snake.
- I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
- A hitman was looking for me.
- My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
- I eloped.
- My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
- My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
- I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
- I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India (note: she passed away 20 years before).
- I forgot what day of the week it was.
- Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
- A tree fell on my car.
- My monkey died.