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I seen this list of excuses people gave their employer when calling in sick...
  • I was sprayed by a skunk.
  • I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
  • My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
  • I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
  • I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
  • I couldn't find my shoes.
  • I hurt myself bowling.
  • I was spit on by a venomous snake.
  • I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
  • A hitman was looking for me.
  • My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
  • I eloped.
  • My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
  • My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
  • I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
  • I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India (note: she passed away 20 years before).
  • I forgot what day of the week it was.
  • Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
  • A tree fell on my car.
  • My monkey died.
I usually just tell them I have anal glaucoma... My @$$ just can't see coming in to work today.. :-D
 

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a guy I work with missed over 70 days one year , but in his defense his mother in law did die five times that year. :)
 

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I had a guy tell me he slept on his arm wrong and if he came in he would have to go super slow.
 

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One of my guys came in one morning and told me that he had "brittle bone disease " and would have be put on light duty.
I told him that all that he suffered from "brittle brain disease" and better get his ass to work !
 

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Under Construction
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Anal glaucoma, I cant see my ass comming into work today :partyman:
 

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Ice Cream Wolfpack
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From a guy that was like 6'3" and 250lbs of muscle... "My tummy hurts..."
 

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"I taught my dog to bring firewood in the house. Last night he stacked it in front of the door and i cant get out for work." I heard the on the recorder one morning.
 

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pist'n Broke
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After being in business I've herd a lot of BS excuses, but usually when they say they were throw in jail, they were.
we had one call in sick (he was really sick) but said he got pulled over for suspicion of dwi... they took him in and tested, realized he wasn't drunk and released him....LOL we checked, not true.... soon after FIRED !!!!

another said their dog jumped out a 2nd floor window, the next day's excuse was he had to watch the dog because it was on pain medicine....FIRED !!!
 

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Capri For Sale
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I had a guy working for me that missed at least one day a week, sometimes more. He was a damn good worker when he was there so I let it slide. Always had a different excuse for it though. One time he called and said his car wouldn't start, I figured that one was the only time he might have told me the truth.
 

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El-conquistador, sir
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I don't have to have an excuse for 5 days anyway. I just call in and say unavoidable and its also a paid day. For all the people that go beyond that have come up with some good ones. We even had a guy that had to leave a 1/2 day early. Because he claimed the H3 hummers needed an appointment scheduled because they had special filters. Yes they gave him the day.
 

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I had a worker call in and tell me she had an online final to take, didnt think much, she was taking some online courses, well I went to visit a customers shop, stopped by Chic Fil A for a shake on the way back, look whos standing int he lobby, I parked, walked in and told her not to worry, she could take all the time off she needed, she was just promoted to customer
 

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I had a guy working for me that missed at least one day a week, sometimes more. He was a damn good worker when he was there so I let it slide. Always had a different excuse for it though. One time he called and said his car wouldn't start, I figured that one was the only time he might have told me the truth.
I tell my guys. You can be the best worker in the world. If dont show up to work then you don't do me any good at all. Give me good worker that shows up everyday verses one great one that its like playing roulette if they are going to show up.
 

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Ice Cream Wolfpack
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I had a worker call in and tell me she had an online final to take, didnt think much, she was taking some online courses, well I went to visit a customers shop, stopped by Chic Fil A for a shake on the way back, look whos standing int he lobby, I parked, walked in and told her not to worry, she could take all the time off she needed, she was just promoted to customer
:smt082:smt082:smt082
 

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I'm fuckin' my sister..........is that sick enough for you ?
 
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