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OP that is a hard pill to swallow I went through this with my grandfather. We had a long talk and I was able to make him understand plus his insurance company cancelled the auto insurance after several incidents in a row.
Good luck brother.

Steve
 

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It's a tough spot you're in, but do whatever you can to first talk some sense in to him. Fortunately my 2 grandmothers gave up the keys with minimal fighting. With my grandmother in law, we played the old "if you can pass a drivers test with a driving school, you can keep your car". She failed, gave her keys to my in laws, then she went and bought another car...that she literally crashed the same day. She kept driving and got in a couple more accidents, thankfully they were minor. Eventually she recognized that she couldn't see and now lives in a home.

Personally, I was almost killed in February from an elderly driver who ran 2 consecutive red lights and tboned me at nearly 60mph. She died. So not only did she die, but she could have easily killed others and fortunately I was in a new large truck with a bunch of safety features, and not one of my cars with my kids in it. I have no sympathy for families that don't take action against their elderly parents, especially if they are under the same roof.
 

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we finally got my Dad to slow down after he went to move his Honda while cutting grass,mixed up the pedals I guess or never got completely in..
went over the hill thru the yard,hit the porch..took out the flowered arch and 3 steps finally stopping after hitting the house.
$5300 damage to the car plus everything else...helluva mess.
he was 83,finally passed at 84 the week of Thanksgiving last winter. RIP :(
most of us know what you are going thru OP..good luck
 

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I had to take away my moms car keys and later the checkbook, credit cards, banking crap and the phone.
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE TROUBLE AN OLD PERSON CAN GET INTO WITH JUST A FUCKING TELEPHONE.
It was tough to do but it had to be done.
Yep, am there, doing the same thing....
 

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Discussion Starter #46
Well it wasn't easy talking to him about it, and I can't say that he is going to just give in to me, but I planted the seed so to speak. He said he didn't want to inconvenience everybody but I told him he wasn't putting anybody out, that we are fortunate to still have both our parents and want to keep it that way. Told him of all the possible things that can happen, etc. I'll talk with my Sisters later this morning and ask them to help convince him. In the mean time, I'm taking him out for beers again this afternoon.
 

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Idk, he was able to swerve to miss the pedestrian, so maybe it's not as bad as you fear? I don't ride with my dad because he drives too damned slow.
 

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Way back in early 80s I was on I-95 around Ft Lauderdale. I saw two gray haired old ladies in a mid 60s Dodge in the far right lane. Bumper sticker: A Hard Man Is Good To Find
 

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Discussion Starter #49
I'd like to sy that we gained any progress today, but it was one more day that he didn't drive. I took him out, and my Sister brought him home.
 

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He really needs to stop driving. Car is wrecked from hitting a bollard early covid. Insisting that it is repairable against our wishes.

What can I do to disable his 2008 Escape that will convince him it wasn't purposely fucked with? Some main fuse or similar?
Swap the ignition key for a clone key [minus the chip]

or remove the chip from his key, and put it into your spare clone key.

The car isn't tampered with. And you can prove it to him when you start it [in front of him]
 

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do what you have to too keep him happy. A small fender bender with a bollard while missing a pedestrian is not a big deal. How many accidents has he had in the recent months. Unless it is a big problem leave him alone and let him keep driving. My mom is 89 and still drives as good as most people. Some old folks don't keep up with their eye exams and maybe he needs some new glasses if he wears them.
 

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Discussion Starter #52
Dad likes to go out drinking at night. Only has a couple beers and watches his Keno. Besides his unusually driving habits ( 20mph tops, in traffic) I'm more concerned with the other possibilities. He could cause an accident or be involved in one, he could be intentionally hit for other reasons or he could be followed home by thugs with ill intentions. Myself, Sisters and Mother are concerned with all these things.He's always been worried that he would end up in a nursing home and they would get his house! We're trying to protect that for him.

He had his beers yesterday and is comfortable at home today. He probably will ask my Sister to take him looking at cars tomorrow. Our goal now is to try to keep that from happening. I may stop in the morning to pull a fuse to keep him from trying to drive if he doesn't get his way. He's safe tonight!
 

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Since it has a chip in the key, buy a blank key off Ebay... take to local locksmith and have it cut to match the original but dont program the chip to the car.. then swap it out with his key.. car will jus crank but not fire.. security system disables the injectors from firing.. keep the original key for urself... it wont ever start for him and you wont have to fiddle with anythjng if you ever need to start the car or anything... and most people would never think that to be something that was purposely messed with
 

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Dad likes to go out drinking at night. Only has a couple beers and watches his Keno. Besides his unusually driving habits ( 20mph tops, in traffic) I'm more concerned with the other possibilities. He could cause an accident or be involved in one, he could be intentionally hit for other reasons or he could be followed home by thugs with ill intentions. Myself, Sisters and Mother are concerned with all these things.He's always been worried that he would end up in a nursing home and they would get his house! We're trying to protect that for him.

He had his beers yesterday and is comfortable at home today. He probably will ask my Sister to take him looking at cars tomorrow. Our goal now is to try to keep that from happening. I may stop in the morning to pull a fuse to keep him from trying to drive if he doesn't get his way. He's safe tonight!
Man I am so so sorry to hear this about your dad. I had to disable a older car for a lady that drove out a few times and ended up in a few ditches. It was a ole 90s dodge aries k. I just took the wire from the starter off and hid it.I dont know much about how to do one of these newer cars but, from what some are saying that the fuel pump relay may be a good idea.
 

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I watched this lady hit me. She wasn’t looking more than 10’ in front of her and never saw my truck as she t boned me. 2 red lights in a row at nearly 20mph over the limit. I’m sure she was a sweet old lady and it’s a damn shame, but at the same time, if only her “children” could have taken the keys away.

let’s face it, plenty of young drivers get in accidents as well do to lack of experience or distraction. Plenty of old drivers get in accidents simply because they lack the physical strength or condition to be able to drive. They aren’t capable of driving, it’s not fixable.
 

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sounds like you already been to the doctor, know of several that let the doctor give a aging parent the bad news that they need to stop driving... never a good feeling for all involved, but takes the heat off of family when they figure out they can't drive anymore, not upset with family
 

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I had to take away my moms car keys and later the checkbook, credit cards, banking crap and the phone.
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE TROUBLE AN OLD PERSON CAN GET INTO WITH JUST A FUCKING TELEPHONE.
It was tough to do but it had to be done.
Same exact thing with my grandma
 

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Don't know if this will help, but here you can contact the DOT and tell them your situation and they'll have an elderly parent take a drivers test, which they won't pass. Takes the heat off you.
My grandma did this, she said the whole room was full of elderly and once the instructor left they all shared the answers with each other and cheated 😂😂😂

There were people in there with walkers even
 

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Park a boat or something else useless in the driveway block the Escape in.

When Mom shattered her back, she was backing the Buick down the driveway to get the morning paper as she could barely walk. She wasn't driving anywhere else but I couldn't chance it. I came home from a trip to Watkins Glen and noticed the Buick was askew in the driveway. I parked behind her to block her in.

She figured it out the next morning when she looked to see if the paper had come and noticed my car in the driveway.

"Why did you park in the driveway?"
"To block you in, you've no need going out to get the paper."

Only time I had to "put my foot down" with Mom, she didn't fight me either.
 

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Discussion Starter #60
Getting somewhere on this. Mom spoke with him Monday about the dangers, etc. Said it was a really good conversation and he didn't fight her. Fingers crossed!
 
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